Dan In Real Life

Memorable Quotes:

Marty Barasco: Love is not a feeling, Mr. Burns. It's an ability.

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Dan Burns: [after the family sees him and Marie kissing] You guys broke up, right?
Mitch Burns: Two hours ago!

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Dan Burns: Instead of telling our young people to plan ahead, we should tell them to plan to be surprised.

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Dan Burns: I don't want to go out with the pig... face.

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Dan Burns: [getting a ticket] Put it on my tab.

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Dan Burns: There's rightness in our wrongness.

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Marie: [about Mitch] It seems all his best lines were yours... this is unbearable.

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Jane Burns: [about driving] If you don't let me, I'll never learn.
Dan Burns: But if I let you, you might not live.

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Dan Burns: What don't I understand, Cara? Please, help me out. What is it? Is it frustrating that you can't be with this person? That there's something keeping you apart? That there's something about this person that you can connect with? And whenever you're near this person, you don't know what to say, and you say everything that's in your mind and in your heart, and you know that if you could just be together, that this person would help you become the best possible version of yourself?

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Marie: You don't have to smile.
Dan Burns: It's better than the alternative.

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Dan Burns: Life... is full of disappointments

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Cara Burns: You are a murderer of love!

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Cara Burns: You don't have to worry because when it comes to sex, Marty is the one that wants to wait.
Dan Burns: What part of that sentence is supposed to give me comfort?

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PLAN TO BE SURPRISED! :D